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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. I mean, how can you not appreciate this stuff? Anyway, I take a break and step outside. The heat hits me like a brick wall. I stroll down to the beach on Jalan Pantai, and wow, the waves are crashing. It’s beautiful, but also kinda sad. You can feel the weight of what happened here. I sit on the sand, just staring at the ocean, and I’m hit with this wave of emotion. Like, how did this place survive? It’s resilient, man.

Tsunami death toll rises above 225,000